Beijing...

Am in Beijing at the moment and this place is pretty crazy. So much to see and do and totally different from Japan. We've done all the touristy things so far - Forbidden City and Great Wall and tomorrow off to Xi'an.

The first thing that really strikes me about Bejijng though is how forward and abrupt everyone is. At the Peking Duck restaurant yesterday we were hustled in and out; coming back from the Great Wall we decided to take a local bus and found ourselves booted out by the side of the road somewhere in the Beijing suburbs. We ended up walking along the side of the nearest train tracks until we reached a station! This would never happen in Japan.

Staying down a cute little sidestreet called a Hutong in the centre. But you would never know it. It's so quiet!

Unfortunately can't upload any photos. Shame.

Asahi Sakura Festival

Asahi Sakura Festival
Originally uploaded by asahimaku.

I have 98 days left until my contract ends. Yikes! Quite amazing really. When I first came to Japan I thought a year was such a long time, and now here I am half way through a second year. A little crazy!

Last weekend I played taiko at the Asahi Cheery Blossom festival. It was a good little gig, although a little colder than last year's.

What always makes things more interesting is the obligatory interview with the gaijins in attendance. Usually it's John and I who get hauled back on stage to give good interview with the announcer (always a rather excitable Japanese lady with a limited grasp of English and a penchant for asking difficult and rather pointless questions).

This time however I carried out the interview with Adam - a beginner to this post-taiko ritual and therefore unaware of the joys that awaited him.

The interview started well. Both of us managed to get our names out, and both of us managed to confirm that we were in fact both teachers from Uozu and Asahi respectively. No problems there.

It was almost too easy. I was first up. The questions probed no further than 'Do you enjoy playing taiko' or 'How long have you been playing taiko'. I had it easy. Not exactly newsnight.

The announcer then approached Adam and asked (in Japanese of course) 'What do you like about taiko'.

The usual answers - 'it's fun' or 'it's interesting' don't really cut it in this instance. This is a heavy weight question and one that requires a heavy-weight answer. You have to qualify your answer with an explanation - 'It's fun because...'

Even in English this is a difficult question to ask, but in Japanese faced with a sea of obachans drinking sake, it takes on a whole new dimension.

Most souls would have blurted out something quick and easy to get the interview over. 'It's interesting'. Done. Thankyou very much, you've been a wonderful audience, goodnight.

Adam, however gave the question the time and attention it deserved, pondering for what seemed like an hour (but was probably closer to a minute). He was going to give this question the type of answer it deserved.

So what was his incisive and articulate answer? 'The backbeat, it's wicked'. In English.

The funny thing, is absolutely nobody except myself, Adam and Justice would have had any idea of what the hell he was talking about.

Acting as the translator in this situation I choose to translate the aforementioned nugget of wisdom into some semblance of Japanese. But how can you give justice to an answer like this?

After another long pause, as the announcer's face turned to confusion and panic, I gave the two-worded answer -
'oto omoshiroi' - 'interesting sound'.

It was enough. It had been understood. The silence had been broken and we were allowed to get the hell off the stage. The interview was finished.

But no doubt it won't be the last.

The internet...bringing people together!

The Seymours, Easter Monday 2006.

A new school year

Another week rattles along, and it's another week of doing very little. I finally got my teaching schedule today so I know which classes I am teaching and when.

But even though it is now a brand new year, little seems to have changed (except that we now have a teacher who shouts a lot at students, and struts around the teacher's room looking for trouble). After the initial strangeness everything has settled back down to normal. The first years are cheeky, the second years are still grasping to their cheekiness and the third years have lost their cheekiness save for a few cheeky chappies.

Entertaining the elderly

Well it`s been quite a while since I have posted anything. The reason? I tend to find that the less I have to do the less I want to do. When you have a whole day ahead of you and you have absolutely no idea how on earth you are going to fill it motivation levels tend to slip below zero.

This morning I managed to make cleaning my desk take an hour, despite the fact that I had already cleaned it last week. Filling up time is developing into a bit of an art form!

Anyway enough of that, onto the amusing anecdote...

Last week my friend in Asahi - Koji, asked me if I wouldn`t mind going along to the old people`s home for an hour on Thursday. I had been once before and had met this terminally ill man who had lived in America for 18 years. His English was perfect! I had assumed that my return visit would be centred around talking to him, which would be a pleasure.

That morning Koji had rang and told me that he couldn`t come with me. No problem so far. So I drove to the home and was greeted by two nurses who seemed rather taken aback that I was by myself. Not to worry. I walked with the two ladies and chatted in my stilted Japanese about the weather. Alarms bells didn`t start ringing until we were in the lift. Hang on!! Why are we going up in a lift? I`m sure the last time I stayed on the ground floor.

My suspicions that something was a foot were confirmed when the lift doors opened and I was greeted with a sea of elderly faces. There must have been about sixty of them and the numbers grew as more and more seemed to be coming out of various doors and taking a seat.

I knew what fate awaited me - an hour of entertaining the elderly!!

Now, I have since found that entertaining the elderly is very different to entertaining kids. Firstly the elderly lack the type of `genki` energy that you get from Elementary school kids. There are a vast arsenal of games which can be used efficiently and effectively with little children that you can`t use with granny. Secondly, an elderly crowd have seen it all. They`ve lived a long time and they can sense fear. They want a high-quality introduction. They know where England is, they`ve seen a foreigner before, maybe some have even visited a foreign country. This type of crowd want facts not silly faces. With an elementary crowd you can get away with saying something silly and acting like a clown, but the elderly crowd want some hard info. They want to know how big England is, what cultural sites are there, the history, socio-political anecdotes...not just how old you are and whether you have a girlfriend.

I bombed. My comedy repertoire which usually worked a dream at elementary school went down a lead balloon with this crowd. Every word, every gesture was sucked from me; the less reaction I got, the harder I tried - flailing arms and shouting, laughing hysterically. I must have looked like a complete goon.

Of course the cameras were rolling. Like with every visit I do there is always a sly camera snapping away recording the ensuing madness. No doubt footage with be leaked to the local media - my insane grin captured in a photograph within the local newspaper.

15 minutes into my hour-long stand-up routine and even the staff were squirming and quickly stepped in to do some damage limitation. This involved passing a balloon around and throwing hoops. It proved far more popular than my previous efforts.

But unlike the comedy clubs found in England where a dying comedian is met with derisive laughter and abusive heckles, I was passed off with polite applause and niceties. My limited Japanese ability was even complimented on.

Thought for the day - The elderly are a daunting but forgiving crowd.